Embracing Peace and Joy this Holiday Season

Sarah Goins • November 21, 2023

8 Tips for a Stress-Free Holiday Season

As we gear up for the most wonderful time of the year, let's take a moment to acknowledge the elephant in the room – the potential stress and chaos that often accompany the holiday season, especially for us parents.


But fear not! With a dash of intentionality, a sprinkle of creativity and love, we can transform this festive time into a season of peace, joy, and cherished memories for us and our kiddos. 


1. Mindful Planning: A Calm Start to the Season


Begin by crafting a realistic holiday plan. Rather than overloading your schedule with events and commitments, opt for quality over quantity. Be mindful of your family's energy levels and set realistic expectations.


Remember, it's okay to say 'no' if it means preserving your sanity and fostering a stress-free environment.  You don't have to go to every event, even if it's something your family has enjoyed in the past.  It's ok to not do it all.

 

If we are stressed and our nervous system isn't regulated, our kids will feel that, and they'll mirror our feelings and emotions.  If we're stressed, they're stressed! 


Plus, kids need downtime.  They need time at home to process and just "be."  How can you be intentional now about planning days that aren't filled to the max?



2. Create Family Traditions: Timeless Treasures in the Making


Establishing traditions is a magical way to weave joy into your family's holiday tapestry. Whether it's baking cookies together, watching classic holiday movies, or crafting homemade decorations, these shared activities create lasting memories that both parents and kids will cherish for years to come.

 

One tradition I started a few years ago is now becoming one of my favorite things to look forward to each year.  I decided instead of having 2 or 3 kids in the kitchen helping bake, we would do something one on one.


I sit down with each child and we choose something to bake together.  This cuts down on the inevitable arguments we had been experiencing about who gets to measure which ingredient and who gets to stir first!  If you have multiple kids, I know you know that struggle!   Plus, it fosters connection, yummy treats, and sweet memories.


If there's a tradition you've done for years, and this year you just don't have the time or energy for it, it's ok to skip it for just this year.  Maybe get creative and see if you can find an alternative activity, or even figure out ways to make it simpler. Or, just skip it.  I promise, it will be ok!

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3. The Gift of Presence: Quality Time Over Quantity


In the hustle and bustle of the season, it's easy to get caught up in the frenzy of gift-buying. However, consider shifting the focus from material presents to the gift of presence. Spend quality time with your loved ones, engaging in activities that bring joy and laughter. Sometimes, it's the simplest moments that leave the most lasting impressions. 


Our kids want nothing more than our time.  Yes, they say they want the latest and greatest toys and tech gadgets, and they probably do.  However, there is nothing more that they want than to feel our unconditional love.  One way they feel that is by connecting with us through moments of fun and play. 



4. Delegate and Simplify: Lighten the Load


You don't have to be a superhero – it's okay to ask for help! Delegate tasks and share responsibilities with your spouse, family members, or friends. Simplify your holiday preparations by focusing on what truly matters. After all, the essence of the season lies in the joy of togetherness, not in the number of perfectly wrapped presents or flawlessly decorated cookies.


The other day, I was feeling overwhelmed with everything coming up in December, and I took time to let my husband know how stressed I was feeling.  This led to us problem solving together and coming up with a plan about how to bring some ease into this season so that the to-do lists don't override the joy.



5. Mindful Tech Time: Unplug for Connection


In this digital age, it's tempting to document every festive moment for social media.  However, consider setting aside specific times to unplug and fully engage with your family. Embrace the magic of the moment without the distraction of screens, allowing everyone to be present and connect on a deeper level.



6. Practice Gratitude: The Heart of the Holidays


Amidst the chaos, take a moment each day to reflect on the things you're grateful for.  Modeling your gratitude in front of your kids will foster an attitude of gratitude that extends beyond the holiday season.


Gratitude has a powerful way of shifting our focus from what's lacking to what's abundant, creating a positive and joyful atmosphere.



7. Extend Grace and Compassion: Navigating Excitement and Impulses


Let's face it – the holiday season can turn even the most composed kiddos into bundles of boundless energy and excitement. With routines thrown out the window and sugar levels soaring, it's no wonder our little ones might struggle to contain their enthusiasm.


Instead of letting this newfound exuberance become a source of stress, let's embrace it with open arms and a heart full of understanding.


Kids, in their uncontainable excitement, might test the limits of your patience.  It's often that the holidays bring more big feelings and more meltdowns.


Before you let frustration take the reins, remember that the holiday season is as much about joy as it is about challenges. Offering grace and compassion in these moments can make all the difference. Rather than resorting to nagging, yelling, or punishing, try to approach their behavior with understanding.


Here are 4 steps you can take when your temperature is rising:


  1. Pause.
  2. Breathe (access your own calming tools).
  3. Acknowledge their excitement and empathize with their frustration.
  4. Communicate calmly.


By fostering open communication, you create an environment where your kids feel heard and understood, making it easier for them to feel connected to you and easier for them to navigate their own emotions.


8. Be Gentle with Yourself:  Parenting is Hard


Moreover, don't forget to extend that same grace and compassion to yourself!! Parenting during the holidays is no small feat, and it's perfectly okay to acknowledge when things don't go according to plan.


If you find yourself on the brink of frustration, take a moment to breathe, recalibrate, and remind yourself that perfection is not the goal.


Compassion towards yourself sets the tone for a nurturing and positive atmosphere for the entire family.


So, when the tinsel is unraveling faster than you can say "Jingle Bells," the kids seem to have morphed into mini-elves on a sugar high, and you're feeling more and more like the Grinch.....


PAUSE. 


Take a step back.


Offer grace.


Sprinkle in some understanding and watch how the holiday magic unfolds in the most unexpected yet heartwarming ways.


After all, 'tis the season for love, joy, and a little bit of chaos!


As we navigate the holiday season, let's prioritize the well-being of our families AND ourselves. By incorporating these simple yet meaningful practices, we can turn the holiday season into a time of peace, joy, and unforgettable moments.


Here's to creating a stress-free and love-filled holiday for you and your loved ones!


Until next time!



With Love & Gratitude,

Pathways to Peace

The Secret Sauce to Parenting

By Sarah Goins • November 18, 2023
You know those moments when you're desperately trying to understand why your kiddo is having a meltdown over the color of their cereal bowl or they won't put their socks and shoes on because "they feel weird?" Yeah, been there! Sometimes, when it's happening, it's no big deal for me, and sometimes it feels so frustrating and exhausting, and I'm wondering if my kid will ever just "go with the flow?" I just need and want things to be easy and less chaotic. You, too? This is where Attachment Science comes in. It's like having a special recipe, guiding us through the beautiful mess of parenting. It's not just a buzzword; it's a main ingredient in the secret sauce of parenting and all relationships. For those of us who had childhoods that were a little under or over cooked, or too much of one ingredient and not enough of another, our attachments might not be quite as secure as they could be or need to be. And it can be transformative to our relationships to heal ourselves and to create an attachment that is secure. Why Attachment Science? It's not just about the big milestones or moments; it's the everyday connections. It's remembering the importance of being present when your little one is excitedly telling you about their day, the new level they beat in their game, or the cool rock they found. It's getting down to their level and meeting them with empathy when they're having big feelings over a broken toy, and it's having understanding when they wanted to go play with friends and couldn't. It's holding space for our teens and their irritability when a boundary they don't like has been set. It's the ingredient that holds our hearts together. If you, like me, experienced the flavors of a challenging childhood, Attachment Science is the binder. It's what brings everything together and keeps us together. It's about looking back at your own upbringing, rewriting the script, and creating a secure attachment with yourself. And THEN you are able to support your own kiddos in developing a secure attachment. How? By providing a safe haven for your children where they have a felt sense of being seen, heard, safe, and soothed. Where they FEEL loved. Where they FEEL loved for who they are. Where they FEEL loved no matter their behaviors or choices. And where they FEEL our total unconditional love.
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